Friends and sunshine

Friday night a big group of guys from our church took off for an overnight fishing trip.  I was really excited that Peter was going to get some away time and time to just enjoy learning from and encouraging other men in our church.

The downside was a Friday afternoon/evening and all day Saturday at home by myself.  Now yes, I realize that I am home with the boys all week by myself but somehow when it's the weekend, you psychologically just want your husband around.

So what's a girl to do?  Make plans to hang out with your amazing friend whose husband was also going to be gone.  Wonderful idea!

Friday night the boys and I went over to her house where we had homemade pizza and took the kiddos to the park.  Our older kids just played and played and our two youngest enjoyed the stroller ride while we walked around and caught up on life.  Having someone who you can chat with about anything and feel like she gets you is a blessing.

I got the boys to bed and enjoyed a few chocolate chip cookies, some HGTV, and some down time.  Then Benjamin fell out of bed at 11pm and was crying so I comforted him.  Then I fed Jonah and finally fell asleep around midnight.  Wouldn't you know it, Jonah woke up at 2:45 but took a paci.  At 3:15 when he woke up he didn't want a paci he wanted me.  So, I fed him and went back to sleep around 3:45. 

Jonah awoke again about 6:50....seriously little guy?!?!  What happened to the little boy I usually have to wake up at 9am???  I went to go feed him and Benjamin woke up 2 minutes after that.  Happy Saturday morning!  Guess we were going to make the 8am garage sales after all :-)  And that we did....we hit about 4 garage sales and got a few fun things then we came home because our friends were coming over.  It was going to be about 80 degrees and we couldn't wait to spend the day enjoying the sunshine!

 I blew up the pool in the backyard, got the water table ready, and the instant our friends came to our house at 11pm, the kids were outside in the water.  They played and played and played some more. 

Benjamin just looooooves his friends.  He would seriously move in with me them if I would let him.  It is so precious watching them interact!

Our younger ones enjoyed hanging out with us as we sat under the patio umbrella and talked. 

We ate lunch outside, and we finally made the kids come inside at 4pm after 5 hours of playing!  We gave them quick baths then let them watch Aladdin before a dinner of lasagna leftovers.  They worked on a few puzzles then it was time to head home about 7pm because the husbands were coming back.

At the end of the day I was just really struck by the gift of a good friend.  How wonderful it was to have someone who is in the same season of life as me, who I can laugh with, who encourages and challenges me, who I enjoy doing ministry with.  We spent about 11 hours with each other in 2 days and it was nothing but fun.  There's no stress or pressure, its just easy and relaxing.  I know that it is a rare gift to find such a friend and I am truly grateful!

Feeding your baby!

Jonah is 3 1/2 months and we are still exclusively breastfeeding and it's going great.  But, I'm going to be honest and say that the phrase "exclusively breastfeeding" still brings out mixed feelings in me.

You see, with my oldest, Benjamin, I wasn't able to breastfeed past about 2 1/2 months.  And I was pumping, supplementing, etc with every feeding.  It was ridiculously draining, and time consuming, and with all of that effort I was only giving him the tiniest bit of breastmilk in every bottle.  Despite, a huge effort on my part, I just wasn't producing and we never were able to establish it together.

But, when I stopped breastfeeding him, I cried.  I cried and cried and cried because I felt like I had failed.  I had absolutely no idea that my baby was not going come out of the womb, know exactly how to nurse, and we would live happily ever after.  I'm not sure why I was so naive but I was.  And I put so much pressure on myself to succeed and when it wasn't happening I was defeated and was not ready to let the world know I had "failed." 

I read so many blogs, heard so many moms talk about how they "exclusively breastfed" and I just felt inadequate.  I know there's only a handful of moms who use that phrase in such a way to make moms who can't or don't breastfeed feel terrible, but I fell victim to that trap.  I remember feeding my son a bottle in public and just knowing (in my head at least) that everyone was surely staring at me thinking of me as a lesser mom for not breastfeeding.

But, I had so much support from Peter when we decided to make the switch to formula with Benjamin.  It was what was best for him, myself and our family.  I wasn't producing and the stress was not allowing me to enjoy my child.  The nursing/supplementing/pumping cycle was sucking the life out of our relationship.  After the switch, the guilt didn't completely go away but I sure did enjoy my ridiculously adorable little boy!

After Jonah was born, he had jaundice like Benjamin did, and because of that they wanted me to supplement with him.  I very reluctantly did for a few days but was sooo determined to make breastfeeding work.  And Jonah was a different baby than Benjamin.  He nursed much better.  Benjamin would stay asleep despite having his head under the cold water of a faucet.  Even though Jonah was a better eater, there were still nights that I woud just cry in frustration and have to lay Jonah down on the bed so we could both just cry our way through the whole learning process.  It was tough, tough, tough.  If I wasn't so annoyingly stubborn I probably wouldn't have pushed through. 

But through prayer and determination, we have made it through and are still breastfeeding.  And a huge difference this time, is that I was actually producing enough milk.  I have to take the herb Fenugreek in order to do so but what a difference it makes when you actually make the milk your child needs.  So, do I think breastfeeding is a great choice for your child?  Absolutely!  Do I think using formula is any less of a great choice for your child?  Absolutely not!  I have been able to experience both and am so grateful I've had different options to ensure my boys are healthy.  I think the second time around, I've been able to relax the pressure I felt to do what wouldn't have me be judged by other moms.  Now I realize that being a mother is so tough, and breastfeeding is a hard process, and formula feeding is just as tough. 

Here are some of the advantages and disadvantages I've experienced so far with both breastfeeding and formula feeding.

Formula feeding pros:

*  you know exactly how much your child is eating at each feeding

* you can feed them "on the go" in the car/stroller/etc

*  husbands/family members can bond with the baby while giving them a bottle

* it is easier to be apart from your baby for some alone time/date time

* formula is so developed and amazing in how it provides such great nutrition for your child

Formula feeding cons:

*  having to remember to bring bottles/formula/water whenever you go somewhere

*  lots and lots and lots of bottle cleaning

*  you get your mothly cycle back sooner after birth

*  the formula isn't "custom made" like breastmilk would be

* the 5am feedings.....it is somehow easier to get up for these when you are breastfeeding simply because you know you don't have a choice.  When you think there's a possibility that your husband might get up and feed your child, it is harder to get up.  At least that's what I experienced

Breastfeeding pros:

* "custom made" breastmilk

*  weight loss is usually quicker after childbirth (unless you go through ice cream like crazy as we do in our house, oops!)

*  you don't have to remember bottles/formula/etc

* you get to have the excuse to make the hubby do the dishes after dinner because you have to feed the baby :-)

* it's easier to eat when you're breastfeeding than bottle feeding because you normally have a free hand

Breastfeeding cons:

* no help with the middle of the night feedings

* it's not always a walk in the park learning how to have your baby latch properly

* you don't know exactly how much your baby is eating so the "is my baby gaining enough weight" mind games can be so brutal in those first few weeks

*  it can sometimes be a bit painful, especially in the beginning

* you can't feed "on the go" in a stroller/carseat, etc.  Some people talk about leaning over their child's car seat.....yeah, not sure that's going to happen.  Woudln't that strain your neck something crazy??

* it can be difficult to be away from your child for more than a few hours if they won't take a bottle well

I think what I've learned more than anything is that we all have expectations of what we think motherhood should be or is going to be.  And when things don't always align the way we thought it is tough to give up that control.  Most Moms just love their children to pieces and will do whatever is best for their child and their family.  Our own comfort is usually not part of that equation.  So whether I am able to keep breastfeeding or choose/need to use formula, I love my boys more than life itself and will always do whatever I can to take care of them in the best way I know how.

Benjamin around 3 months old 

Jonah around 3 months old

What I'm Loving Wednesday

Another Wednesday, another chance to link up for WILW!

Here's a few things I'm loving this week....

*  I'm loving the beautiful weather we've been having.  Sunshine and warmer weather is in the forecast all week.  Sooooo nice!

*  I'm loving that Peter found this patio umbrella and patio cushions online last week (we only had 3 come with the set we bought on craigslist)  We've already had several meals outside this week and it is awesome.

*  I'm loving that we received Kohl's cash from our patio purchase and I was able to get some much needed new tennis shoes

*  I'm loving that I got to grocery shop by myself on Saturday!!  It was bliss!!  Of course while I was gone both boys slept for nearly 3 hours, it always works like that doesn't it?  It was so nice though to have uniterrupted shopping time, I do love a stocked fridge and pantry.

*  I'm loving that summer is so close and is starting to fill up with fun plans.

*  I'm loving the show Duck Dynasty.  We don't have cable but can watch it online and it is seriously the best "I have a half hour to kill so why not laugh at a bunch of crazy rednecks" show ever! Peter and I find it greatly amusing....if you have some time to waste, check it out :-)

*  I'm loving the box of hand me down clothes my SIL, Anita, sent us from cousin Jack.  Benjamin loved going through them and is obsessed with the Clifford shirt!

*  I'm loving that my boys have a Daddy that will let them jump off the couch and land on his stomach.  He is the greatest Daddy!!

*  I'm loving how this sweet little guy is such a perfect fit into our family.  His personality, laughs, and squeals just fill our days with joy.

*  I'm loving our new double stroller.  We got a great deal on craigslist and love that its super light, folds up great, and our boys can sit next to each other!

*  I'm loving these long days of sunshine with my sweet boys!  I'm a blessed gal indeed



A typical 24 hours

This is probably going to be totally boring to most people (like most of my posts I imagine) but I wanted to document what a "typical" day is for our family so I can remember little details like that when I'm old and gray.  Wait, I am old AND I have found a gray hair on my head.  Yes, on my head.  And I'm not even 28 yet.  I'm doomed.

Okay, back to our day.

Here's what goes down in our house in 24 hours.  Definitely a lot less action than Jack Bauer experiences in 24 hours (we loved that show!) but it's full of activities even if they aren't as cool as thwarting presidential assassinations or trying to find out who is the leak in CTU.  Totally random, but aren't they supposed to be making a movie based on 24?  Anyway, here's what happens in our 24 hours.

8:15pm yesterday:  Both boys were changed, read to, sung to, and put down for the night.

8:15-10pm:  Peter and I vegged, browsing stuff online, half listening to the finals of the Voice (only the second time we've ever seen it), and ate ice cream

10pm:  I fed Jonah, changed his diaper and he went back down to sleep

10:30ish:  we head to bed, chat for a few minutes then drift to sleep

2:30am:  Jonah wakes up, takes a pacifier, goes to sleep

3:30am:  Jonah wakes up, not satisfied with the pacifier, I feed him (he normally doesn't wake up at all until at least 4:30)

6:10am:  Jonah wakes up again, I feed him again.  Peter wakes up to exercise and get ready for work

6:30am:  I go back to bed and try to fall asleep again

7:15am:  Benjamin wakes up and heads downstairs without me, forcing me to get out of bed with him before he helps himself to a movie, ha!

7:15-9am:  Benjamin and I play quietly (and by quietly I mean building towers and smashing them down violently) downstairs and I make breakfast....oatmeal for me, bagel with cream cheese for him.

9am:  Jonah wakes up, I feed him.  We all get dressed and ready for the day.

9:50am:  We head out to Safeway to pick up 1 item, then we head to the park in town.

10:15-11:45am:  We play at the park, going down slides, chasing butterflies, watching dogs catch balls that we're thrown, running around chasing each other.  Jonah slept in his car seat the whole time.

11:55am:  Get home, start lunch (chicken nuggets, celery with peanut butter and raisins, apples and oranges), then feed Jonah while Ben and I make up silly songs that rhyme

12:15pm:  Peter comes home for lunch.  We eat, clean up, change both boys diapers, and put Ben down for a nap at 1.

1pm:  Peter leaves to go back to work, I start making lasagna for dinner.  Jonah sits in the Bumbo on the counter while I make the meat/tomato mixture. 

1:30pm:  I sing to Jonah and put him down for a nap.

1:40pm:  I finish the other components for lasagna, then sit for a bit to check facebook, download videos off our video camera, and catch up on email.

2:10pm:  Jonah is awake.  I attempt to ignore him so he'll go back to sleep.....he doesn't.

2:30pm:  I get Jonah up and we play for a few minutes.  Then I feed him again and change his diaper.

2:50-3:20pm:  Playtime with Jonah, switch a load of laundry, pick up toys in the living room.

3:25pm-4:00pm:  My piano lesson arrives and Jonah plays on the floor and then sits in the swing while I give her the lesson.

4:00-4:30pm: I fold a load of laundry, start another load in the dryer, cook the lasagna noodles, and finish dishes.

4:30pm:  Ben wakes up from nap (suuuuuper long nap today, normally only around 2 hours) and we grab some milk, fruit snacks, and sidewalk chalk to play on the porch.  Jonah is still sleeping in his swing

4:45pm:  Peter is home from work and Jonah is awake.  We talk on the porch for a bit. 

5:15pm:  I put the lasagna in the oven, make a salad and dressing, thaw strawberries, wash more dishes.

5:30pm:  I feed Jonah

6:00-6:30pm:  We eat dinner, Jonah sits in his bouncy seat, and then we clean up

6:30-6:40pm:  We get the boys diapers changed and get shoes on for a walk

6:40-7:30pm:  We go for a walk in the neighborhood to feed the horse, throw rocks in the water, run around.  Jonah takes a cat nap in the stroller.

7:30pm:  I fold another load of laundry, Peter unloads the dishwasher, Benjamin works on a puzzle and Jonah plays next to him on the playmat.

7:55pm:  Peter gets Benjamin ready for bed while I feed Jonah.  Peter reads/sings to Ben while I get Jonah changed and dressed then I sing to Jonah and put him down.

8:30pm:  We are putting our feet up and trying to relax a bit.  Maybe with some ice cream??  And in a little while I'll go get Jonah to feed him again before we head to bed and start the cycle all over again.

It is definitely a FULL season of life right now but I love it.  Some days are harder than others but I know how lucky I am to have these wonderful blessings in my life.



Monday Randoms

Just some random thoughts on this beautiful Monday! 

*  I'm seriously loving this sunshine....it's blue skies and around 75 today.  Pretty much perfect!

*  Jonah was up at 3:30 last night (this morning?)  Not so fun.  And Benjamin was in bed with me at 6:40 this morning.  Sleep is just not a part of my life.

*  We enjoyed the gorgeous weather and spent most of our time playing outside this morning

*  Of course, this was after I made Benjamin an egg for breakfast.  He's not eaten them since his stomach bug a month or so ago, but I thought I'd try again.  NEVER AGAIN.  He took a bite and puked everywhere.  Happy Monday to me!  NEVER AGAIN (Okay, maybe that's slightly dramatic, but it's definitely gonna be awhile before we try to remedy the egg situation in this boy!)

*  Jonah rolled over for the first time yesterday!!!  Woo hoo!  Peter saw him hold his head up really strong, turned his back, and then saw him rolled over.  I watched it all, but he missed it.  He did with Ben too, it's kind of funny how that works!  Our little guy is just getting stronger and stronger each day.

I could seriously just eat.him.up!

*  I think we're heading to the park tonight after Peter gets home.  I'm sure the boys will love it.

*  Yesterday we went for a walk together and it was adorable watching our boys interact as they sat next to each other in the stroller.  Peter and I can't wait to watch them bond more and more this summer.

*  We are all smiles every day when Daddy gets to come home for a lunch break

*  Benjamin (and Daddy) brought me these flowers from our backyard yesterday, how gorgeous!

*  I'm convinced that someone sneaks into our house at night and takes clothes out of the dresser and puts them in the dirty clothes basket.....how can it be that we go through soooooooo many clothes.  Laundry is just never ever done.

*  I have a lot more pictures and things to blog about but I need to go read my Bible in the sunshine!  Because you know, it's beautiful outside today.  And sunny, and warm.  I may have mentioned that, but in Oregon, sunny days are kind of a big deal and need to be enjoyed.

Adios!