A good deal of pride

I love being a SAHM to Benjamin.  I absolutely love it and really do know it is a blessing to do so.

I also know that only having one income does require tighter control on our expenses.  Without my extra paycheck there's much less "extra money" at the end of the month that can be blown on toffee nut lattes, Friday night take-out and that adorable-gotta-have-it sweater. 

I do most of the spending in our family (shocker!)  By spending, I don't mean those extravagant, frivolous items, but I mean the groceries, the diapers, the new socks, the toilet paper....you know, the essentials.  As the primary caretaker of our home, I take care of those things during the day throughout the week.  I use our receipts to keep track of our budget, trying to align meal menus, weekend plans, and date night ideas to stay within our allotted amount for each category.

Enter coupons.

The whole idea that I can take about 2 hours of my week to organize or print coupons, do a bit of online research, drive to the store and purchase discounted items to get an amazing deal is awesome.  I really do LOVE a good deal, it's such a weird high.  And feeling like I'm excelling at my job of taking care of my family and my household is satisfying.  Here's the breakdown of this month's good deals:

ITEMS BOUGHT:
* 2 Stayfree Maxi pads
* 2 bottles contact solution
* 2 Bounty paper towel rolls
* 2 boxes Ritz crackers
* 4 containers Dreyers ice cream
* 1 tub Wet Ones wipes
* 1 box Motrin PM
* 2 Finish Dishwasher detergent kits
* 2 bags Halls cough drops
* 1 Milky Way
* 2 bottles Dawn dish detergent
* 2 jars Jif peanut butter
* 11 tubes Colgate toothpaste
* 2 gallons of milk
* 1 adult coldcalm flu medicine
* 1 child coldcalm flu medicine
* 2 Mentos
* 1 box Excedrin
* 2 Gillette deodorants
* 2 Old Spice deodorants
* 2 packages Dixie paper plates
* 1 Skittles
* 1 package elastic ponytail holders
* 1 package hair contour clips
* 1 2pk large hair clips
* 1 bottle Dayquil
* 1 bottle Nyquil
* 1 Starburst
* 1 Conair 1" hair straightener/flat iron
Total # of items: 55
Total cost: $19.46
Total cost per item: $0.35

I mean, really?  It's insane that all the above items averaged 35 cents.  The flat iron alone cost $24.99?!?!  So, in seeing these good deals, I was really proud.  And it got me thinking....why am I proud?  Should I be proud?  Is it wrong to be proud for working out these great buys?

We've been studying what God's Word says about money in our small group class and I've been challenged to become a better steward with what God has blessed us with (why I wanted to start "couponing" more seriously).  Money is such a touchy subject for everyone because when we really break it down, we love money.  We love what it gets us because we struggle with selfishness.  At least I do.  So realizing what great deals I got (90% of items were things I was going to buy anyway) made me think to myself "Sweet, now I get to go to Starbucks because I saved so much money, and now I can justify eating out more, and guess who's going back to the Old Navy clearance with a big ol' bag now?"  In an instant, my initial desire to become a better steward with God's money, once again became about me.  My thoughts weren't consumed with "Lord, please keep my eyes open to a need we can now reach with this little bit of savings this month" or "Thank you Jesus for the extra savings we'll have to put away now, I know it's your way of meeting our needs the next time an emergency happens."  Nope.  I wanted my latte and an 8th pair of cozy sweatpants. 

I don't think it's wrong to be proud of the deals I got this month.  It's okay to find satisfaction in doing so.  Because right now, shopping for our household is a part of my job and I should delight and find satisfaction in it.  But my purpose shouldn't be to find deals so I can gain more.  I should want to find deals so our family is even more equipped to be used of God.  It's all His anyway, I don't know why I continually try to bring it all back to me.

I know this is a random post, but I guess I just needed to sort of my thoughts "out loud" on my blog. 

Lord, please help me use the resources you've blessed us with for Your glory.  Help me not to seek my own advancement or pleasure, but to be used by You to bring others to You.