The dreadful sound

Oh, that dreadful sound.

The sound that makes your heart drop.

BONK.  BUMP.  CRASH.  THUD.

to be followed by a moment of silence and then real tears of pain and sadness.

Today, Benjamin had his first real bonk/bump/crash/thud.

He has been doing great on his walking and must have gathered the courage to try going from the ottoman to the coffee table by himself, because I turned around for a second and out of the corner of my eye I saw him walking.  He made it all the way there but fell right at the end.  I heard the BONK and my heart stopped.

I think the hardest part is that there was nothing I could have done.  I rush to him to see where he's hurt himself and try to comfort him with kisses and hugs and as many "it's okay, it's okay sweetheart"'s as I can say.  It's then that I see that he's got himself a little cut right above the eye....

It didn't take long to realize it wasn't a huge cut or anything terribly serious, but come on, I'm a first time mom....anytime he's even a bit hurt it makes me want to cry!  It bled a little bit and after 5 minutes he finally stopped crying and just buried his precious head onto my shoulder.  We snuggled and I made an exception to our normal morning routine and we watched a bit of Elmo while we ate some Cheerios.

It is hard seeing your children suffer, even if it is a relatively minor bonk that he received because he's trying to learn the new life skill of walking.  It was a weird feeling of helplessness that I felt today knowing that I won't be able to protect him from every bonk or cut or bruise or protect him from getting his feeling's hurt or a broken heart.  It sort of hit me that while I will do everything in my mighty Mama power to protect him, I ultimately need to trust God with him, knowing that Benjamin is in His hands and His protection and nothing will ever happen to him that is not in God's perfect plan.  There's a real peace in that, and it's a peace I hope to know and claim more in my life as a Mom.

So, today we survived the first of the dreaded sounds that I know will be frequent in the future of my active little boy.  But don't worry buddy, Mama will always be here to kiss your owie's away, I love you!

P.S.  Don't worry Nana, he's recovering just fine!