Now, we're not sure exactly what we're going to do with schooling for our boys. We can't afford the local christian school, so we're looking into the local charter school. Only problem is that you only get in based upon a lottery system so we're not guaranteed that Benjamin will get in next year for kindergarten. We had heard that you were given preferential treatment in the lottery system if your child attended the school's preschool so we started looking into it. Turns out, that's not the case, it's just a standard lottery for admission, but we started to consider preschool anyway for a number of reasons.
Benjamin is really smart and loves to learn. He is creative, loves to work on worksheets and catches on to things quickly. And he has come leaps and bounds socially. He used to be so afraid of other kids everywhere, at McDonalds, at the zoo.....he was always shy and intimidated. Now, he has a small group of friends from our church and has thrived in that environment. Unfortunately, none of those kids will be in his kindergarten class which got me thinking. I wanted our little guy to learn how to make friends without his 'safety net' of the church environment. When I started thinking about him going to kindergarten every day next year without any of his friends, it made me realize it would be super overwhelming for him.
So we decided to take a baby step and enroll him in preschool for 2 afternoons a week. I thought it would be a great chance for him to spend a little time doing some fun learning activities and work on making new friends. A chance to do some fun 4 year old things since Mommy is a little extra busy with baby Ethan.
Anyway, on September 2nd he had his first day. He was excited so after a quick lunch I managed to get the 3 boys out the door. Peter's parents had just left from their Labor Day visit so the morning had flown by, but luckily Peter managed to sneak away from his work day to meet us at the school to help me walk Benjamin to his class (wasn't sure how I was going to get Benjamin, Jonah, and Ethan to the class while carrying all his school supplies, ha!)
(Jonah misses his brother a lot while he is gone, even though he naps most of the time!)
We hung up his backpack, said hi to his teacher, I gave him a hug and a kiss and he got busy playing with toys. He seemed okay so we turned around to let him have a good first day.
And.I.Lost.It. I couldn't stop crying. I was trying not to be 'that mom' but goodness gracious I was crying the ugly cry throughout the whole walk back to the car. And when I saw Kristen in the parking lot, I lost it again. I thought I would be okay, but I have never left him somewhere that wasn't with family or a close friend. It all of a sudden was overwhelming and I almost couldn't breathe. Even Peter was a bit emotional over it, we couldn't stand leaving our baby.
Those 2 hours and 45 minutes at home that afternoon just crept by. I found myself just crying randomly (I'm sure the one month postpartum hormones didn't help either!)
When we finally got to pick him up, I found out that he had had a bit of a meltdown once we left. Apparently, Daddy forgot to give him a hug and a kiss and he was sooo sad. Which broke my heart. The rest of the day seemed to be okay for him, but I wanted to just take him and never come back.
Of course, we did. Thursday came around and he went back. And he melted down when we dropped him off. Cried, grabbed our leg, the works. And though it broke our hearts, we knew it was what was best for him. And as soon as we left, he was fine for the day, was always excited to show us what he worked on for the day.
But the meltdowns at drop off continued.
So I decided to give him an incentive. If he could have 4 days of 'drop-offs' without a meltdown he could have a new Lego minifigure. Well, the first day, even the motivation wasn't enough for no tears, so although it was a bit easier, he didn't quite make his goal that day.
The next day though there were a few tears, but no meltdown...success! And the next day was easier and easier. He's still a bit sensitive at drop-off time but he made his goal and was SO excited to get his prize.
This week he'll go again to preschool tomorrow and hopefully his good drop-offs will continue without his extra motivation. He's finally talked about one little girl that he talks to at preschool, which for Benjamin is huge. I'm just praying that God will protect him and give him boldness to make new friends.
It's definitely different having to adjust to the school schedule, i.e. coordinating naps around pick-up times, trying to get lunch done early so he can make it to school by noon (why do kids eat sooo slow when you're in a hurry?, but we're adjusting. I'm so proud of my sweet Benjamin. He is facing his fears, learning to be brave, and learning lots of things in the meantime.
And this mama is learning to face her fears, learning to be brave, and learning lots of things as well. Not sure I'm totally embracing this new stage of him being away from me, but we're getting there. I love you my precious little preschooler!
No comments:
Post a Comment